The Onesie Intermission: Finding Joy After the Storm

The Art of the "Reset": Dirty Faces, Onesie Dances, and Total Freedom

The last few chapters I’ve shared have been heavy. They are necessary parts of the painting, but they aren't the whole story. Today, I wanted to hit the "pause" button on the past and share a glimpse of the messy, hilarious, and incredibly safe life we’ve built.

The Apology I Carry

I often find myself apologizing to my daughter. I look at her childhood versus the childhood my young boys are having now, and the difference is staggering.

When she was little, I was so young and so deeply entangled in abuse. My parenting style back then was a "stressful dance"—a constant, high-stakes effort to protect her without triggering a reaction from her father. Everything was calculated to remain "safe."

Today, safety isn't something we have to perform. It’s just the air we breathe.

The Neighborhood "Wild Men"

My three of my boys are all under 12, and in our neighborhood, they are known as those "typical dirty fun boys."

The photo above was sent to me by a neighbor about a year ago. She sent it with a note about how much she loves running into them on her walks; apparently, they are always full of stories to tell her and her dog, Winston.

Ironically, just moments after that sweet photo was taken, my two youngest decided to "whip it out" and pee in the ditch. At the time, we were deep in the trenches of potty training. We had told them that peeing in the ditch was better than peeing in their pants—I just forgot to clarify that "not flashing the neighbors" was also a key part of the instructions.

But as you can see we have a shark, captain america, and one with no pants on at all. Unusual but the normal for these kids. Additional photo below of Winston for fun.

The Onesie Dance-Off

I also had to share these videos. One night, we all ended up in some version of a character onesie or a ridiculous outfit, and we decided the only logical next step was a dance-off.

None of us can dance. Not one of us has rhythm. But the room was full of giggles, music, and the kind of pure, unadulterated fun that I didn't know was possible twenty years ago.

Raising Men, Not Just Boys

Unlike the first time I was raising a little one, I now have the space to balance life, learning, and fun. I’ve realized that the "fun" part isn't just a luxury—it’s a necessity when you’re trying to raise little boys into loving, empathetic men.

I don’t care who they love, what they do for a living, or whether they decide to have kids of their own one day. My only goal is that they are good people who know how to find love and joy in the small moments.

The "Art of Survival" eventually turns into the "Art of Living." And right now, life is looking pretty bright.

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Closing Thought: Sometimes, the best healing comes in the form of a ridiculous onesie dance or a toddler peeing in a ditch. It’s the "normal" stuff that feels the most miraculous when you’ve come from a place where nothing was normal.

What is a "normal" moment in your life today that your younger self would have been amazed by? Let’s celebrate the messy, simple joys in the comments.