Setting Me Up to Fail: The Reality of the Ammo Side Hustle

The Gun Show Subterfuge: Heavy Ammo, False Alibis, and the Square Bruise

We did eventually find a way to make some extra cash, and it was only "allowed" because it checked two of his hyper-specific boxes: it was gun-related, and he was supposed to be doing it with me.

A military friend of ours had started an ammunition distribution business, selling bulk ammo at local gun shows. Because he could only physically be at one venue per weekend, he offered us a percentage of the profits if we took a truck, went to a different show, and ran a table on his behalf.

For my husband, it felt like hitting the jackpot. Not only was he getting paid, but he got to walk around a gun show feeling like an expert, talking shop, and using our profits to buy even more weapons and ammo. For a few months, it actually worked. It kept some food on the table and pocket money in his pocket. Even our daughter liked going because she made friends with the other vendors' kids.

But as with everything in my life back then, the honeymoon phase had a very short expiration date.

Setting Me Up to Fail

The moment the novelty wore off, his commitment evaporated. If he had a bad week at the unit, or if we got into an argument, he would simply refuse to get out of bed on Friday night. He would stay home to play video games, assuming that if he pulled the rug out from under me, I would panic and cancel the weekend.

He wanted me to fail. He wanted to prove that without him, I was incompetent.

But he severely underestimated who he was married to. I am amazing at what I do, and I had a commitment to our boss. If he wasn't going to show up, I was.

The Square Bruise

One Friday night, he orchestrated a massive blowout fight. By the end of it, he made it clear he wasn't going to the weekend show.

Fine. I took the truck to the warehouse by myself. I counted out the inventory, logged the manifests, and loaded crates of incredibly heavy ammunition into the vehicle alone. Early the next morning, my daughter and I drove a couple of hours away to the venue.

I had to unload the truck, haul the heavy stock inside, and set up the entire display alone. I still remember that specific morning because as I was carrying a massive crate of ammo to the table, it started to slip from my grip. Knowing how disastrous it would be to drop it, I braced myself and let the heavy wooden case slam directly into my thigh to catch it. I carried a solid, perfectly square bruise on my leg for weeks after that.

Playing the Army Alibi

In typical fashion, he wanted the money from the side hustle, but none of the labor. Instead of letting the job go, he would promise all week that he was going to help, only to back out at the 59th minute.

Because I didn't want to cause drama or risk losing the income, I became his ultimate alibi. I lied to our boss constantly, making up excuses about how the Army had called him in for "unexpected duty" or extra shifts.

I had my carry permit, I knew the inventory, and I wasn't afraid of the work. But while I was on the floor making us money, he was sitting at home in the AC, playing video games and projecting his own guilt onto me. He would bomb my phone all weekend with frantic, exhausting accusations that I was cheating on him at the venue—a classic case of psychological projection, because as I would find out much later, he was the one actually cheating on me.

⚠️ NOTE: This is the ultimate proof of your resilience. When someone tries to build a cage around your potential, your natural capability will still find a way to shine through the bars.

The Armor of Competence

Abusers often try to convince you that you can't survive without them—that you can't handle the "real world" or a real job. But the moment you are forced to do the heavy lifting alone, you realize the truth: you were already carrying the weight of the entire household on your back anyway.

Have you ever been forced into a situation where someone expected you to fail, only for you to realize you were entirely capable of running the whole show yourself? How did that realization change how you viewed your own strength?